How romance scams unfold
A romance scammer is patient. They build trust over weeks or months before any money is mentioned, which makes the relationship feel genuine.
- They meet through dating sites, social media, or even a “wrong number” text.
- They shower attention and talk about a future together quickly.
- They always have a reason they can’t meet in person or video call.
- Eventually a crisis appears: a medical bill, a stuck shipment, travel costs.
Warning signs to watch for
You may notice the signs before your parent does. Watch for changes in behavior around money and a new long-distance relationship.
- A new online partner they’ve never met face to face.
- Requests to send money, gift cards, or crypto to the partner.
- Secrecy or defensiveness about the relationship.
- Moving money around, or asking to receive and forward funds, which can mean they’re being used as a money mule.
How to help with compassion
The feelings are real to your parent, even if the partner isn’t. Approach with empathy, because shame often keeps victims silent and stuck.
- Don’t shame or say “I told you so.” Lead with care.
- Ask gentle questions, like whether they’ve ever video-chatted.
- Suggest a reverse image search of the partner’s photos together.
- Offer to report it together to the FTC and IC3 when they’re ready.
How Oversight helps families
Oversight can scan suspicious DMs and messages from an online partner. Screenshot the conversation for a risk score and explanation in about three seconds. With Family Overwatch, a guardian can be alerted to high-risk messages, while the older adult controls what is shared and it stays off by default.
- Scans DMs and texts for impersonation and manipulation.
- Family Overwatch respects the protected person’s autonomy.
- Assistive, not a guarantee. Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.